Frustration abounds…..

It must be a record of some sort…..I have written three times in one week.

Today, I have a complaint.  And I just can’t go to the positive side.  Perhaps it is my unwillingness to tolerate bullshit…..

The grieving family.  I do realize I am the voice of not only my experiences with Zay passing…..but also, for my girls and husband.  And although they do not share their emotions as much as I…..they still have them.  And their hidden feelings/emotions are generally on overload.  Bottled up.  And so very fragile.

My Middle is struggling.  Struggling with sleep at night.  Struggling with change.  Struggling without the one real best friend she has had since she was 3 years old…..her sister Zayla.


I understand that people grow.  Things change.  Shit, I am an adult and I have seen this first hand over the past several months.  But when I see it affect my struggling, just trying to survive Middle?  It frustrates me to no end.


My suggestion? or my Hope really??  That people can give my Middle just a little more grace.  A little bit of support to let her try to navigate her new life.  Don’t abandon her.  Be a true friend and support her when she is at her worst.  Stop saying “I’m here for you”… it!!!


I keep trying to teach my Middle that it is better to put positiveness and goodwill out into the universe…..that the law of attraction is that you will get back what you give.  But damn if it is not hard to want to go all Momma bear on people.  But, I bite my tongue.  Erase texts that I would love to send. No meddling. Stop focusing on things we really have NO control of.


And that brings me back to the stay focused, stay positive.  I guess what I am preaching and complaining about, I am somewhat actually doing.  Hmmmm….food for thought I guess.  Maybe we can all learn from this.  And grow.  Because when it comes down to it….we should really be focusing on being better humans.

Doing good versus doing nothing.  I like that.




  1. Karen Thurston-Stephens · August 18, 2016

    Beautifully stated.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. carriedouglas22 · August 19, 2016

    Unbelievably stated and so raw. Poor middle. Thinking of you and yours.


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