Memories…..generally good.  But sometimes so hurtful.

I have been having an internal struggle with looking at my Facebook “On This Day” posts.  Although the unexpected pictures of Zayla are sometimes what my soul needs to see… is the rantings that sting.


Three years ago today, I posted about childhood cancer support.

Here it is:

The National Cancer Institute spends 4% (actually 3.8%, but whatever) of its revenue on research for ALL childhood cancers.  Combined. 

Sounds generous when you consider that less than 1 percent of cancers, occurs in children. Right? However.  NOT when you take into account that the average age of a childhood cancer diagnosis is 6; in adults it is 67 years old.  When cancer kills, an average 15 years of life is lost in adults, vs. 71 years in children.  (Zayla lost 68 years of life….68!!!!!!!! WTF?!?!) That’s decades for children to “grow up, have children of their own, create something beautiful, or even discover a cure for cancer”.  ****Addendum— Don’t get me wrong…..all life is valuable.  I just find it absurd that we want to compare the number of affected cancer children to how much funding they should receive.  You want to compare numbers??  Then look at amount of years saved.  That makes more sense.  ********

Among pharmaceutical companies, that 4 % slither of the drug discovery and development funding pie might be even skimpier.  BigPharma needs BIG profits that they can only get from the remunerative adult market.

When reporters cover fatal accidents or disasters, it’s commonplace to identify the number of child victims (“200 people died, including 28 children”). That’s because most of us place a higher value on a child’s life than an adult one.  The NCI and BigPharma do not appear to concur.


Today???? It has been five months.  5 months or 5 minutes.  Feels the same.  Yet so different…..

Miss you baby girl.

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