Internally screaming…..all the damn time. 

Internally screaming…..all the damn time.  

That pretty much sums life up.  Everything is now measured by when you were alive, and when you weren’t.  A before and after of sorts.  

Today I am wearing one of your scarves. At times I catch the color in my peripheral and can almost imagine a hug.  Almost.


Last night the week caught up to me.  The emotions.  It’s an odd place to be…..on the verge of losing your sanity between devastation and anger.  You can feel that edge so damn close.  I can see how people do take a break.  Just check out.  Is that weakness?? Or just a mechanism to not self implode?!?!? 

So I paint.  And self medicate with some wine.  Just chill.  Trying to preserve my sanity.  

But I think that is life.  We are all just surfing along the edge of it.  It’s just about time and who gets more.  (Thanks Kathy) That is all.  Ever. 

So do something with the time you have.  

I will.  Always for you Z.  

Go live as much as you humanly can.  All the damn time.  Living it.  

Miss you baby girl…..

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