The damn fish died. 

The damn fish died.  

And it was actually weeks ago.  but I am so often consumed with my own daily survival. I didn’t notice.  

And the significance of this?  The damn fair goldfish was obtained by Zayla just weeks after her surgery for her new brain cancer diagnosis.  The damn fish LIVED longer than my poor girl did with the tumor.  And I cried.  Because it is ALL so unfair. 

Just ugh. 

In one week we will be entering September, and Childhood cancer awareness month.  

Next Saturday we will be hosting the 2nd Annual Bean Bags Tournament in Memory of Ms Zayla.  All donations and proceeds will be put into the Zayla Mitsdarffer Culinary Scholarship for a Herscher High School student.  This past year, we were able to donate $2500 to a student.  This is something that Zayla would be very proud of.  Making a difference.  Please join us…..if you don’t want to play, come out and enjoy the day, donate if you can, and share in the wonderful memories of our sweet girl.  

On a different note…..

I wanted to share my thoughts on what September and Childhood Cancer Awareness/Action means.  Just this past week, I had a friend reach out and ask about a NFP, and if they were “good” (I love that people are asking/thinking, thank you Brett).  We all have the capabilities to look any NFP up on their website and see their IRS tax forms.  Yes, it can be time consuming.  And there are other websites that actually do the work for you….like  Here’s the thing….many companies “appear” to be non for profit, and donate a set % of their profits to charitable organizations.  But that does not make them a NFP.  

Here’s the thing. If you are buying something under the impression that they are giving money to a charitable organization…..and your sole purpose of buying said item is for what they are supporting….PLEASE think twice about this. Unless you truly wanted said item, and were going to buy it anyways, the marketing of selling things to give a % of proceeds to a charitable organization is BULLSHIT.   People that can be so excited about a product because it gives them a warm, fuzzy feel good moment that part of their money is going to XY or Z charitable organization.  Great marketing.  Poor taste.  Really, it just reminds me of American Cancer Society using the faces of children battling cancer to get people to donate money….then only give kids 1%.  COMPANIES should NOT BE making a profit by using the faces of cancer children.  PERIOD. Has some GREAT Tshirts….AND ALL the proceeds benefits childhood cancer and research.  Not 10%.  Not 20%.  All  Is American Childhood cancer organization.  They have some awareness items such as car magnets, stickers, gold ribbon pins, gold nail polish etc…. ALL proceeds go to help children with cancer and to support research.  

Maybe I shouldn’t be irritated by this. Maybe I should just keep my mouth shut, and be happy that any company would like to advertise childhood cancer awareness AND give % of their profits.  Am I asking too much?  Well… daughter DIED.  And maybe, just maybe if people donated money to places that actually can make a difference, maybe someone else’s child won’t die.


I want more.  Because I will forever be living with less.  

Miss you baby girl.  Every hour.  Every damn day.  

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